Dear Present, 

In your silent witness, I confess, 

I loved one who could not return the sentiment, 

A solitary architect of my own lament. 

You alone know the folly of my heart, 

For days I played a special part, 

In a play where she was my counterpart. 

Dear Present, 

Her silence now is my decree, 

After years woven into shared tapestry, 

She severed threads, left me to be. 

Alone, I gather shards of yesteryears, 

Mending the mosaic of my tears. 

Time's passage has been my sage, 

Gratitude now fills my page, 

Lessons etched upon my stage, 

To hope without an expectant cage.

Appreciation, Present, 

For the clarity you've lent, 

Understanding why love went, 

Guiding me to a new ascent.

I've found a heart that echoes mine, 

A resounding "Yes" that feels divine, 

This love, I trust, will not resign, 

Together, our souls intertwine. 

Dear Present, 

Your lessons are my cherished guide, 

Through life's tumultuous, stormy ride, 

You've shown me blessings often hide, 

In trials where we're most tried. 

It's not about being strong

It's not about being quick,

But the will that you get along

to help those who are weak.

It's not about being well,

It's not about being good,

But the courage you use to tell,

Depressive people to move.

It's not about having money,

It's not about being rich,

But sharing a drop of honey,

For those who cannot eat.

It's not about being intelligent,

It's not about being clever,

But being efficient

In what you want to share.

It's not about being surrounded,

It's not about being famous,

But the feeling you are valued,

By the ones you are close to.

It's not about being proud,

It's not about being mad,

But being able to speak loud

the voice of those who are sad.

It's not about vanity,

That you've done so many things.

It's more about humility,

If you wanna grow your wings.

Most of the time

I am deluged in a sea of facts that destroys me.

I am sensitive,

I am nervous,

and I feel ridiculous thinking that one day I could be free.

I want to rail so that someone could hear me.(yell)

I am willing to change my direction,

searching for redemption.

I almost spend my day complaining

but all my efforts seem in vain.

My heart feels the same pain!

Everyone criticizes me.

I am feeble,

I usually tremble,

'Cause I am jeered at everytime I wear something nice!

The society doesn't have a pity for me.

My reputation is tarnished,

No one accepts me the way I wanna be.

I really want to remain calm

and wait that everyone can change!

But my feeling of anger

pushes me to be a fighter!

I won't allow any violence

to pass through girls' innocence!

You came in like a ghost when I needed you most.

You gave me hope, and no longer I mope.

In your eyes, I see a reflection of me.

In your warmth, I find peace.

A friendship that will never cease.

When I'm with you, I am not alone.

In your heart, I've found my own.

You lifted me to soar to skies unknown.

I found myself with you, my wings fully grown.

The shadows dispersed, aided by your light.

Lifting my soul, granting me the courage for flight.

With gratitude in my heart, I spread my wings wide.

Breaking free from the shadows' might,

yet carrying your light deep inside.

I close my eyes and a bomb will go off

Not here, nor there, nor next door

Not even under my bed

I close my eyes, and the bomb blows up my head

My brain, pink churning paint, splashed onto

roads, to white fences, to pages and blank walls

My own Pollocks, a lightning-struck masterpiece

An auctioned tombstone, a funeral destigmatized

I close my eyes, and the bomb tells me to stay dead.

So I tried to cut off the heartstring,

the bright pink web of sewage in my arms,

stink off guilt and sedatives and lead

And the goddamn head would not let me

So I tried to cut it off too

Yet

I closed my eyes, and the bomb begged instead

It was not that I couldn’t see

I am blind and forever cursed to be

Just as the young lovers, the intellectual, and the hermit

Your eyes die when the kid inside drops dead

But I guess something remains breathing

I closed my eyes, and there’s nothing in my head.

For days my bones melt into the bed

Woods facing, cheap coffin, Pharaohs’ arm cross

And the bomb tucked neatly under my pillow

I thought I had been mummified

With formaldehyde, or cyanide, or whatever

potion they use to pickle a corpse At least

this time it’s not all in my head

Slabs of steel in the mold of two feets

I dragged this bomb for a walk.

I looked at my roommate, a former

sun, now cold like a death star, who

tried to fly away from the ground

with a needle thread I closed my

eyes and he said the end

End of a warm southern wind

End of a half-finished book

End of the star-filled look and a night sky of wisdom His

illness, explosive fungus, spreads their suicidal spore

through wars and the invisible walls he built up My other

roommate, who’s all curled up and shock-stricken,

whose front chest is sewn onto an explosive vest,

I thought

If I closed my eyes then he too would be dead.

So I tried to keep my eyes open

A stranger’s hand, the nose just above water

for you to not drown, for life to not break you

down to bones and ash

A foot still on the ground and the bomb still ticks

Here, together

Whatever accidents it may

Live through this

We’ll live through the bombs.

A

little furry ball of love,

my

pal and antistress live toy,

you’re

always cute, whether you rove

around

the room, hopping in play, 

or

lounging in your favourite spots, 

sleeping

in the shape of a loaf,

dreaming

of apples and carrots,

leaving

behind a number of

cocoa

puffs produced from your gut,

next

time stretched out in your length full,

showing

your fluffy tail and butt.

Life

without you would be so dull.

Sometimes

you sit like the Sphinxes,

resting

but alert nonetheless-

ears

forwarded and nose twitches.

And

when you flop, it`s sheer cuteness.

To

see such a safe, relaxed bun

laying

on side with ears flat back,

so

that it looks like you have none,

is

rare, at least with you, my wack,

as

you get easily disturbed

when

one ventures in your life space.

And

you thump too when you`re perturbed,

and

even mildly bite in case

you`ve

had just enough of petting.

At

times, though, when you feel like it,

you

come to me for some snuggling,

not

too much, just a proper bit.

I

like to rub my hands and face

in

your soft black velveteen fur.

That

feels so calming and plain nice,

notably

when you start to "purr",

gritting

your teeth as soon as I

start

stroking your cheeks and forehead.

To

give me kisses you`re not shy,

you

lick me plenty on the head

and

hands too with your soft pink tongue.

Then

when you beg me for some treats,

I

can`t resist you, my li`l man,

jumping

on bed, your big eye beads

anxiously

leering at the crate

where

I keep them. I like to feed

you

using my hand as your plate,

my

little messy pig, indeed.

I

love the tickle of your whiskers

on

my palm or even my face

as

your triangle once sniffles

all

around your current meal place

for

more of those delicious snacks.

When

you`re washing yourself, I melt-

you

stretch your legs, ears downward flex, 

to

properly clean your whole pelt.

You`re

such an inquisitive 

pet

who

likes to nibble on pillows

and

slippers, but I can`t get mad

at

you even when you bite holes.

Just

watching you helps me destress.

When

you nuzzle me, instantly,

my

life feels an increment less

of a

mess and I gleefully

listen

to the fast beat of your

tiny

heart, because I know that

it`s

bigger than it sounds. What more

could

I ask for? You`re the best pet!

Your

affection is a real trove.

You`ve

marked me as yours with your chin.

Yours`

the only kind of love

I

fully trust and believe in.

The line is beeping, receding. Like fainting steps over your head as you sit in the wolf pit after mistaking it for solid ground.

As you cling to those meanings by your fingernails, nearing the end of the rope, nearing destruction, you close your eyes and dismiss the calling of judgment, tucking the darkness close to the chest. If you can’t see the monster, the monster won’t see you too – a child shuts her eyes, catches her breath, ignores her heartbeat, hoping to wake up in a different place. The magic portal of an embrace you’re not conscious to witness eats at the way in between.

Now, there is no excuse you could dig up, no control of others to grasp at, only of your own.

 Look for the footing. As you settle in and find your shelter, there won’t be a blow hard enough to displace you.

So stumble, but not before the first flight is ever taken. Pick yourself up. Brush off the sand, the dust, the dirt.

Turn the cycle.

Flip the page.

Get to work.

Translucent fluid in my

   Half-finished cup

In numbers mugged of any flavour

   Much like the nightly delight

Indigo flowers and cigarette lovers and…

   Desolate mornings

My Evening Primrose turned to Sunray Daisy

In dependent sorrow I cling to it still

   Clinking and fervour of the serrated thrills

   Knives stabbing with pleasure but then…

  Exiting the wound, ill-conceited and rude

Peeking through the glass, I drink with

   Inbred class, sugar and water

Raising the flask, asking for a straw

   Missing the imminent flaw that used to make-flow

Pathetic and coarse, I'm the king pleading for a horse

   In exchange for my kingdom, control and righteousness

  A parent not shedding childishness, liquid excuse

Tie me to a straight in the middle of a square

Leave my body bare and in a month I might change my…

Direction, I'm just so tired of craving a distraction

My eyes open on a world which color’s blue

My feet are numb and lost is my left shoe

On my back there I lay, still, afraid to make a move

asleep I’d be found I thought , someone’d come to the rescue

Behind a tree and bushes I managed to see through

A river, I witness, flowing like silk dresses on skin do

My hands, I use, to wipe grass of my dull eyes And to my surprise

a far sound I thought I heard arise, came to

Help me out of this place Which I have fallen into

Mistaken I believe my ears were, and still

Lost is my left shoe

Dwelling endlessly my soul aches

For souvenirs of past pains seem to remain

As if transpierced they have been, with a screw

Breathing becomes a chore too

Giving up then, seems to be the only way to eschew

the everlasting suffering of a wounded heart

And there I sit before the windy cliff and the big blue

Large breaths I take, feet rooted in the grass

My soul awakens once my ears catch the sounds of

The free birds above my head that spread wings and flew Silence then became master of the view

My eyes now wide awake, sweep the horizon

Then fall again to the ground with the grace of a swan’s move

Giggling escapes through my stuffed nose

And then I rose

To carry on my path gracefully, healed

Although still Lost is my left shoe.

Die and that is your response 

To God's God- given vows, 

Vow not to come, not wake, not agitate 

And my heart won't ever suffer this torment 

Run away and I'll never again 

Pour boiling steel on my heart through this pain 

Protect me from troubles, worries and sorrows 

Don't come to my dreams, in your beauty covers 

Burn and dust like a shining falcon 

Tie my feelings in knot and a cocoon 

Be a spider, poison my skin 

You're a scorpion, sharpen your sting 

Go away, I beg you, with your giant stride 

Our world is a planet, go find your pride 

Get as far away, as you possibly can 

I've had enough your lie, falsehood man 

Wait. I'm calling you, just listen 

I'm not being heard; I'm only guessing

I'm a human being, just like you, like others, 

I'm shouting at you! These are bad omens... 

Stay. Please. Just three words. 

‘I don't love'. The deadbolt is closed. 

Enough of your puppy looks, stop whining

Find someone else, for that pathetic sign

I don't love and I do not care

I ain't feeling, can joke, even too fair 

I see and I know, then just pretend 

No more painful thoughts in my head 

I'll forget, as soon as I could 

And stop thinking it won't be cold 

You'll never melt - You're Kai, go away 

Thank you for all. From October to May. 

The sun is shining,

and they are bleeding.

Children are laughing, 

and they are weeping. 

The flowers are flowering, 

while the world is dying. 

These things are happening, 

and yet, we still are trying. 

Bad things are happening, 

innocents are dying. 

And the one´s to blame, 

oh yes, they are smiling. 

And every day when I wake up 

I keep myself asking... 

Why? Why such things 

are happening? 

Why are we lying? 

And then we are smiling... 

And so we are pretending, 

that nothing is happening. 

We are the ones, 

to do the judging. 

But when to be judged, 

oh yes, then we are crying. 

I would name that place, my refuge !

I feel protected, my stress reduces ! 

Nothing I hear but beautiful sounds ! 

Something I feel is peace, there, peace is found! 

That's when I'm alone 

And I put on my earphones ! 

I just had a bad day, a day that riled me... 

When I'm that sad me, that tired me... 

I plug my earphones in to get away and be alone ! 

Then I wear a smile, back on my face ! 

I played my favorite sounds in my corner, there I had some space ! 

It took me somewhere out of the reality 

I somehow gained energy and vitality 

Music bring relief for my soul ! 

Lulls my sad heart ! 

Bring energy for my lazy body ! 

Music bring peace for my mind ! 

Bring me wings to fly away ! 

Bring me smile on a bad day ! 

I put on my earphones... 

Music is my company and I never, never feel alone !